i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
