I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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