My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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