I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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