I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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