I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
