He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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