By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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