I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
