I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
