I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
