she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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