I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
