I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
