what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
