I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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