they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
