i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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