It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
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