he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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