Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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