you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
