hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
