i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
