So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
