Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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