So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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