For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
