You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
