I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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