so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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