dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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