i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
