yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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