I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
