...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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