I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
