her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
