break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
