That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
