I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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