Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
