There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
