It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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