Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
