I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
