i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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