So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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