Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The chlamydia really affected his face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
