im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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