And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
